THINKERS JUNE 19 2012: NEW FRIENDS AND OLD FRIENDS IN SL

Extropia DaSilva: Ok..welcome to Thinkers!
[2012/06/19 15:31]  Extropia DaSilva: Today’s topic was suggested by Artcrash and so if she wants to chair this hour, she may. The topic we are discussing is…
[2012/06/19 15:31]  Extropia DaSilva: when people first come into SL they find a group of friends within a few months. Then they stay with those friends. When the friends leave, why can’t they find another group? Why is this easy when new, but hard when old?
[2012/06/19 15:32]  Zobeid Zuma: Ooh! Pick me!
[2012/06/19 15:32]  Kelian Chayoo: LOL
[2012/06/19 15:33]  Zobeid Zuma: Maybe they come to SL without a preconceived notion of what they’re looking for, so they are more open minded.
[2012/06/19 15:33]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Well, i have brought in new friends all along
[2012/06/19 15:33]  ColdWhiteLight Sideways: does that topic also address the people that do not find friends within a few months and leave SL directly, so indirectly suggesting that the people that stay got lucky the first time as it actually is a game of chance on both instances?
[2012/06/19 15:33]  Extropia DaSilva: I had one set of friends, pretty close we were. Lillian, Raven, Nikkie..but they are all gone now and I have ‘new’ friends like Zo, Jamie, Seren and Ari.
[2012/06/19 15:34]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): And I left one group of friends to be with another, and when I was barred from seeing them, I both saw them and went back to the old group–and got new ones. Well, Extie, Zo, Ari, you’re examples. Once upon a time, you were new friends
[2012/06/19 15:34]  Zobeid Zuma: Violet, hii!
[2012/06/19 15:34]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Hi Zo!
[2012/06/19 15:34]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Hi all 🙂
[2012/06/19 15:34]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Extie, neew friends like Zo, Jamie, Seren, and aRi? eh, hem. Fogetting somebody?
[2012/06/19 15:34]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): hi Violet!
[2012/06/19 15:34]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): I like Hem
[2012/06/19 15:35]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Hi Rhi
[2012/06/19 15:35]  Extropia DaSilva: Rhi, nobody you know is from my original set of friends, people I knew from my 1st day in SL. The closest to that is Jamie who I met a few months after.
[2012/06/19 15:35]  ArtCrash Exonar: I run into people who tell me. “SL isn’t fun anymore because most of my friends aren’t around”. The fact is they didn’t think that when they first came inworld because they had few if any friends, yet they managed to find friends. Is there some sort of mental block we put in when we have a friend group that stops making NEW friends?
[2012/06/19 15:35]  Kelian Chayoo: It could also be the amount of time you can put into playing sl. I think we all remember overdosing when we were new
[2012/06/19 15:35]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): True, but you listed your ‘new’ friends, and I wasn’t on it. It’s ok; I’ll get over it…
[2012/06/19 15:36]  Extropia DaSilva: Is it simply that making friends is relatively easier than replacing great friends?
[2012/06/19 15:36]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): We fall into routines; and stuff disappears quickly in SL, so we lose opportunities to meet people…
[2012/06/19 15:36]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Art, well, it could be, but it’s not universal.
[2012/06/19 15:36]  ArtCrash Exonar: OK, let me ask this question: How would you go about finding a NEW friend group?
[2012/06/19 15:36]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Joining new sims, or groups would be my way
[2012/06/19 15:37]  ArtCrash Exonar: what does joining a sim mean?
[2012/06/19 15:37]  Kelian Chayoo: searching the discussion groups for something interesting
[2012/06/19 15:37]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Yeah, ditto, but….I think I’m fairly aware of the sims/groups that overlap with my interests by now
[2012/06/19 15:37]  Extropia DaSilva: Random parachute. Float down from above, and go and say ‘hello’ to whoever is near me at the time.
[2012/06/19 15:37]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): I do still meet people, though; it’s just more like stopping by the store than a nonstop party now
[2012/06/19 15:37]  ArtCrash Exonar: Maybe we become too specific in our friend wants after a while?
[2012/06/19 15:38]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Although, yeah; a lot of the people I’m close to, I met just….almost accidentally
[2012/06/19 15:38]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): So there might be something to random parachutes 🙂
[2012/06/19 15:38]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Art, yeah, we start having filters, just like in real life
[2012/06/19 15:38]  Extropia DaSilva: I used to wander around SL much more in my early days, whereas now I am rarely anywhere other than here, or Jamie’s sim, or Seren’s sim.
[2012/06/19 15:38]  Kelian Chayoo: and then, there’s that one great friend that left and you miss and can’t replace
[2012/06/19 15:39]  ArtCrash Exonar: Do you think it is true that if you look at your friend list that you tend to be more ‘careful’ in who you invite to be on it than when you first came into the virtual world?
[2012/06/19 15:39]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): And hardly ever at mine. ::wipes a tear away::
[2012/06/19 15:39]  Extropia DaSilva: How many here have a friend who means so much, if he or she quit SL you would seriously consider quitting as well?
[2012/06/19 15:39]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Yes, Extie’s point is a well taken one; after a while you get into haunts, routines; if suddenly most of your friends are gone, it’s harder to move on; it would be like that happening irl.
[2012/06/19 15:39]  Kelian Chayoo: I think I’m less careful now
[2012/06/19 15:39]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): I feel like SL society is very guarded, in other online mediums I was accustomed to forging some very real and close relationships, SL has been a very different experience
[2012/06/19 15:40]  Extropia DaSilva: different, how?
[2012/06/19 15:40]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): people are more reluctant to put themselves… make themselves emotionally available to connect, even as friends
[2012/06/19 15:41]  ArtCrash Exonar: I kind of find that people are reluctant to extend friendship more now than they were in SL when I first came in. I don’t know if that is just me or what?
[2012/06/19 15:41]  Kelian Chayoo: could that alsobe interpretted as a more mature attitude to sl?
[2012/06/19 15:41]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): I know at least a couple of people who let themselves be devastated when they were kicked out of a sim that they had made their home base–all their friends gone. But they finally found new friends (although in one guy’s case, it took over three years, but he was obnoxious. lol)
[2012/06/19 15:41]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): It does feel like there’s less activity in SL overall to me right now, though
[2012/06/19 15:42]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): yes, lots of stores and hangouts closing or empty
[2012/06/19 15:42]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Nah, I’m as recklessly friend-ho as when I joined…
[2012/06/19 15:42]  ArtCrash Exonar: Kellen, you might be right. I DO think that SL culture changes over time.
[2012/06/19 15:42]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Well, I think the whole grid is maturing, Violet, and people, in general, need a reason to come in. Also, it’s an election year, so unemployment is down, people are finding jobs; less time for SL
[2012/06/19 15:42]  Zobeid Zuma: Oh, that reminds me of Open Latte…. That left a lot of refugees.
[2012/06/19 15:43]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Did a coffee grid grind (winces at her own pun) to a halt?
[2012/06/19 15:43]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Zo, Open Latte? And refugees?
[2012/06/19 15:43]  Extropia DaSilva: Thinking about it, I have very few friends with whom I feel I have a deep, mutual emotional connection. Most of the people on my friends list are more like aquaintances than true friends.
[2012/06/19 15:43]  Kelian Chayoo: groan
[2012/06/19 15:43]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): I think I know what you mean, Gia; I’m close to a very small number of people. I’ve met and enjoyed the company of a huge number of people, but that only developed into something deeper with a few.
[2012/06/19 15:43]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): (I’m super laggy 😦 )
[2012/06/19 15:43]  ArtCrash Exonar: I used to have a very active friend group of about 25 or 30 people. But after a few big ‘break up’ things the group fell apart and now most of those people rarely log in to sl. Is this common?
[2012/06/19 15:43]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): How is that different than rl, though? I know a lot of people, relate to a smaller number, and have few close friends
[2012/06/19 15:43]  Zobeid Zuma: Open Latte was one of the great hangout spots. After it closed, for a long time it seemed every other coffee shop in SL advertised “Open Latte refugees welcome here!”
[2012/06/19 15:44]  Kelian Chayoo: But here’s my point. I don’t let sl relations get too deep anymore.
[2012/06/19 15:44]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Art, it happens. How common? ::shrugs::
[2012/06/19 15:44]  Zobeid Zuma: But none of them could really offer what Open Latte did…
[2012/06/19 15:45]  ArtCrash Exonar: Another thing that happens over time is that certain more ‘popular’ avatars get hard to contact because they are constantly IMing with multiple people. It is exhausting for THEM as well.
[2012/06/19 15:45]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Zo, oh, right. There’s a coffee sim like that that is advertising as where to go now that Cup of Goodness is defunct
[2012/06/19 15:45]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): yes, there is connection overload too, but I havent experienced that since my early days
[2012/06/19 15:46]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Well, on the other hand, when PI imploded, and PH had fewer people, due in part to their getting RL jobs, Philosophy Camp started up; has over 5000 in traffic, making it no. 1 in philosophy, but mainly after midnight
[2012/06/19 15:46]  Extropia DaSilva: I mean..of all the people here right now there are quite a few who I consider friends and great fun to hang with and interesting to discuss things with, but there is nobody here right now that I would run and pour my heart out to if Seren left me or some other emotional crisis befell me. And a true friend is someone I could do that with.
[2012/06/19 15:46]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): I really miss the original Pixel Bean….
[2012/06/19 15:46]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): I have one person here in SL that I can share my RL troubles with.
[2012/06/19 15:46]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Others maybe this or that aspect.
[2012/06/19 15:46]  Zobeid Zuma: There is still a Pixel Bean.
[2012/06/19 15:46]  ArtCrash Exonar: Yes, extie, those people are rare indeed.
[2012/06/19 15:47]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Philosophy Camp is active?
[2012/06/19 15:47]  Kelian Chayoo: my spot was the boiler room on that b ig ocean liner
[2012/06/19 15:47]  Zobeid Zuma: There are also some places in SL that are eternal. Like Luskwood for example.
[2012/06/19 15:47]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Violet, yes, after midnight, birric says.
[2012/06/19 15:47]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Yeah, but it’s not *my* Pixel Bean! 😦
[2012/06/19 15:47]  Extropia DaSilva: Is anywhere in Sl eternal in the sense that Linden Labs has forbidden its removal?
[2012/06/19 15:47]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): And the traffic numbers are high
[2012/06/19 15:47]  Kelian Chayoo: maybe this is just the digital equivilent of “not being able to go home”
[2012/06/19 15:47]  Zobeid Zuma: And Ahern…. But Ahern is eternally repulsive. 😛
[2012/06/19 15:48]  ArtCrash Exonar: A lot of the discussion group people come in ONLY for the discussions. So there aren’t general friends to be had there much….
[2012/06/19 15:48]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): good point, Kelian
[2012/06/19 15:48]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): I guess I can’t complain too much; my “main” hangout in SL is still pretty active, especially on weekends
[2012/06/19 15:48]  Zobeid Zuma: Hi Sky. Nice hair. 😀
[2012/06/19 15:48]  ArtCrash Exonar: Yes, Kelian you might be right about that. YOu can’t recreate an experience that you had before.
[2012/06/19 15:48]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Abandoned land, Extie? 😛
[2012/06/19 15:48]  Sky Albanese: hi zo
[2012/06/19 15:48]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): hi Sky!
[2012/06/19 15:49]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Ahern was cool once! Sort of.
[2012/06/19 15:49]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Violet, what’s your main hang out?
[2012/06/19 15:49]  Kelian Chayoo: and even more so in sl, because when a place closes, it doesn’t just change, it dissappears
[2012/06/19 15:49]  Extropia DaSilva: On the topic of wandering around sims. Well, it just seems to me that spending time with the people I like is more interesting than wandering around what are mostly empty and pretty unattractive sims. Yeah sometimes you stumble across something that makes you stop and think’oo wow’ but mostly…
[2012/06/19 15:50]  ArtCrash Exonar: I am somewhat involved with a few SL Art communities, and I find that in general the ‘older’ artists don’t interact much with the newer ones. Whereas when they first came in they would interact with all.
[2012/06/19 15:50]  Kelian Chayoo: mostly strip malls lol
[2012/06/19 15:50]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): yeah, I have a random tp on my emdash, hardly ever use it anymore. I like hanging out with my friends
[2012/06/19 15:50]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): Kelian’s point makes me think of the initial rush one feels when becoming a resident of SL, and one can spend years chasing after that feeling again… chasing the dragon, so to speak
[2012/06/19 15:50]  Extropia DaSilva: so nowadays sim wandering is what I do when I have nothing better to do. And that is rare these days.
[2012/06/19 15:51]  Zobeid Zuma: Few things in SL are more attractive than a place where there are always some avs hanging around and chatting.
[2012/06/19 15:51]  Zobeid Zuma: Not easy to find though.
[2012/06/19 15:51]  Kelian Chayoo: I don’t think you can retrieve that feeling
[2012/06/19 15:51]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Gia, that’s kind of what I mean by SL maturing
[2012/06/19 15:51]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): The Velvet, Rhi; and its overall indie music orbit
[2012/06/19 15:51]  ArtCrash Exonar: Truth Zobeid
[2012/06/19 15:51]  Kelian Chayoo: because you are not the same anymore. You know what to expect. You make less mistakes.
[2012/06/19 15:51]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): It feels a lot less active right now, but there’s still too much going on for me to catch everything
[2012/06/19 15:52]  Kelian Chayoo: Maybe the mistakes are the portal to making community
[2012/06/19 15:52]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): I used to sim hop everyday, lately I’ve settled down more into building but I still discover great places, like today, first time here for example 🙂
[2012/06/19 15:52]  Extropia DaSilva: SL is communication through shared experience, which explans the appeal of places where avvies are found hanging out.
[2012/06/19 15:52]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): I’m a people person. I glom onto my people. We drag each other around.
[2012/06/19 15:52]  Zobeid Zuma: There’s always avs hanging around Luskwood… and Ahern, of course… and Open Latte, until it closed…
[2012/06/19 15:52]  Zobeid Zuma: Perfect Paradise is a coin flip.
[2012/06/19 15:53]  ArtCrash Exonar: Regular haunts are attractive because of the built in social aspect there. I have two indie music clubs I haunt just for that reason: The Velvet and Bombay (b)Indie clubs
[2012/06/19 15:53]  Extropia DaSilva: The unwelcome areas have people hanging around. Quite a few being a nuisance which is why I do not call them ‘welcome’ areas;)
[2012/06/19 15:53]  Zobeid Zuma: Right, that’s how it is with Ahern.
[2012/06/19 15:53]  Zobeid Zuma: The Unwelcome Area!
[2012/06/19 15:53]  Extropia DaSilva: oh is that a welcome area?
[2012/06/19 15:53]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): I marvel at the peopel who’ve never even left a safe hub
[2012/06/19 15:53]  Sky Albanese: its amazing how few conversations go on in those places
[2012/06/19 15:54]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Gia, you’re kidding?
[2012/06/19 15:54]  Zobeid Zuma: It was the original SL wecome area before they started scattering infohubs around.
[2012/06/19 15:54]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): I’m not lol
[2012/06/19 15:54]  ArtCrash Exonar: Yes, Gia that is interesting
[2012/06/19 15:54]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Well, I think my SL usage has…”settled,” I guess. I’m less interested in exploring, seeing everything, and more interested in deepening the relationships I already have
[2012/06/19 15:54]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): But then, as SL begans to resembvle the regular internet, except 3D, I’m not surprised
[2012/06/19 15:54]  Kelian Chayoo: is ahern the one with the totem poles
[2012/06/19 15:54]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Violet, I think that is happening across the board to people
[2012/06/19 15:54]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): (And I’m super laggy, sorry. My comments are gonna be like several minutes behind.)
[2012/06/19 15:55]  ArtCrash Exonar: I would like to hook up with a new group of artists that are active in SL, but then again I don’t have the slightest idea how to go about that. Established groups aren’t very open to newcomers and the rest aren’t organized.
[2012/06/19 15:56]  Kelian Chayoo: Maybe we need agents?
[2012/06/19 15:56]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): There are art exhibits going on all the time, you can look at the destination guide
[2012/06/19 15:56]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): and featured events
[2012/06/19 15:57]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): And many of them populated. The science sims seem to have 50 or more; so does my group, on ocasson. I think SL is still well trafficked depending on where you want to go
[2012/06/19 15:57]  ArtCrash Exonar: The same is true with people in their RL daily lives. Finding friends is much easier when young than when one gets away from schools and other enforced groupings.
[2012/06/19 15:58]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): hi Lisa!
[2012/06/19 15:58]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): Rhi!
[2012/06/19 15:58]  Extropia DaSilva: Maybe we should not let ourselves become totally fixated on a fixed number of friends and activities which we return to again, and again. Maybe we should have at least some time where we go somewhere different, do something novel.
[2012/06/19 15:58]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): I almost forgotabout his discussion
[2012/06/19 15:58]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): I have no idea what Ahern looks like now. It used to have potted plants and benches…sort of the template welcome area.
[2012/06/19 15:59]  Zobeid Zuma: I think it still looks just like it always did. Almost always.
[2012/06/19 15:59]  Kelian Chayoo: thats the one by the shelter/
[2012/06/19 15:59]  Kelian Chayoo: ?
[2012/06/19 15:59]  Extropia DaSilva: Like maybe sometime I should go along with Artcrash or Scarp and try my hand at making stuff..
[2012/06/19 15:59]  Zobeid Zuma: It still has the four sort of greenhouse-like structures and the benches in the middle.
[2012/06/19 16:00]  Zobeid Zuma: Although when I first joined SL, I remember they had a sky platform where you first rezzed.
[2012/06/19 16:00]  ArtCrash Exonar: Hey I would love to show you the ropes!
[2012/06/19 16:00]  Zobeid Zuma: That was funny, because we had noobs dropping out of the sky all the time. 😀
[2012/06/19 16:00]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): The destinations guide! I just want to shake whoever manages that sometimes!
[2012/06/19 16:00]  Extropia DaSilva: Rumors that I am into bondage are greatly exaggerated.
[2012/06/19 16:00]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): Gia laughs
[2012/06/19 16:01]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): The whole philosophy of the destinations guide should be adding and directing people toward really interesting, active stuff–but it feels like it’s pruned down to the bare minimum
[2012/06/19 16:01]  ArtCrash Exonar: A lot of destination guide is based on traffic, Violet and that is usually sex sims… haha
[2012/06/19 16:01]  Kelian Chayoo: heheh
[2012/06/19 16:01]  Kelian Chayoo: I thought everyone in sl was into bodage except me
[2012/06/19 16:01]  Zobeid Zuma: Zobeid Zuma gets Extie a gift certificate for Graves…
[2012/06/19 16:01]  ArtCrash Exonar: We are all into bod age, but not necessarily bondage… haha
[2012/06/19 16:01]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): actually you can contact them to be added to destination guide and when I visit places on there it’s usually the lesser populated ones
[2012/06/19 16:01]  Extropia DaSilva: Oh thanks, I like their stuff. I have a few catsuits from Graves.
[2012/06/19 16:02]  Kelian Chayoo: maybe we need to produce analternate guide. Like a pamphlet
[2012/06/19 16:02]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): I dont know what has been said so far, but I felt that it took me a while before I met people who weren’t into head games in sl
[2012/06/19 16:02]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Yeah, Ahern’s design changed like once. They paved it 😛
[2012/06/19 16:02]  Zobeid Zuma: Head games?
[2012/06/19 16:02]  ArtCrash Exonar: The problem with guides is that they are super labor intensive and most people burn out after a while of keeping them up.
[2012/06/19 16:02]  Extropia DaSilva: what do you mean by ‘head games’?
[2012/06/19 16:02]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): well, there was this one guy who would invite me to log off at his place, then I’d log on and find him having pixel sex with someone
[2012/06/19 16:02]  Zobeid Zuma: When I started there was a shooting range, a balloon ride, and a sandbox at Ahern. That’s all gone now.
[2012/06/19 16:03]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): true, I think they update only every so often, like monthly
[2012/06/19 16:03]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): then he’d get mad at me
[2012/06/19 16:03]  Kelian Chayoo: what about creating a board where people could nominate there favourite land mark
[2012/06/19 16:03]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): I have my Philosophy on the Grid, and I’m willing to put just about anything in it, as long as thinking people like it
[2012/06/19 16:03]  Kelian Chayoo: though I suppose it would get abused
[2012/06/19 16:03]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): Rhi’s group is how I found this place 🙂
[2012/06/19 16:04]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): I was just wondering what everyone else’s ‘friend’ experience in sl has been
[2012/06/19 16:04]  Extropia DaSilva: That is something else I should do: Attend one of Rhia’s philosophy groups.
[2012/06/19 16:04]  ArtCrash Exonar: Kelian, the problems with nominations of favorite places is that they tend to get ‘gamed’ by stores and clubs etc.
[2012/06/19 16:04]  Kelian Chayoo: yes I know
[2012/06/19 16:05]  ArtCrash Exonar: Speaking of exploring. the SL birthday events are happening this week, anyone but me visited yet?
[2012/06/19 16:05]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Yeah…you really need someone moderating a destinations guide, sadly…but a better destinations guide is possible
[2012/06/19 16:05]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): I’ve been tempted but no, not yet
[2012/06/19 16:05]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): I haven’t had time yet, Art….I plan to, though
[2012/06/19 16:05]  Kelian Chayoo: I was going to go. But I’m still pissed at how burning life has gone downhill
[2012/06/19 16:05]  ArtCrash Exonar: The destinations guide could be great. But the politics of choosing it are inescapable.
[2012/06/19 16:06]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): burning life? Is that Burning Man?
[2012/06/19 16:06]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): I’ve visited a few, ARt
[2012/06/19 16:06]  ArtCrash Exonar: Kelian, if you want to know the Burning Life story, IM me some time. it is seriously twisted.
[2012/06/19 16:06]  Kelian Chayoo: yeA but on sl
[2012/06/19 16:06]  Kelian Chayoo: I kinda figured it was
[2012/06/19 16:06]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Hosted the Perfect Paradise exhibit for a little while, went to the Philosophy Island one, eyed a few others. The Tombstone one.
[2012/06/19 16:06]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): I had a freind, Arcus Algoma, who was involved in Burning Man
[2012/06/19 16:06]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Twisted?
[2012/06/19 16:07]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): of course, Arcus is nowhere to be found for the past year
[2012/06/19 16:07]  ArtCrash Exonar: It is all about a guy from Burning Man and his ego, and his wife who was a former LL employee named Dusty Linden.
[2012/06/19 16:07]  Extropia DaSilva: My friend experience has been mostly positive. I have one or two friends with whome I have formed a bond so close I would scarcely have hoped it could happen to me, one or two who have hurt me and the rest are just nice people I like to hang out with. So…yeah pretty good.
[2012/06/19 16:07]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): I think that’s pretty comparable to my experience, Extie
[2012/06/19 16:08]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): After I found Book Island, I started meeting some good people
[2012/06/19 16:08]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Yeah, mine too
[2012/06/19 16:08]  ArtCrash Exonar: Guru, yes I think the key is finding a group of people interested in the same things that you are……
[2012/06/19 16:08]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): lIsa, awww, and here I thought it was after you found me.
[2012/06/19 16:08]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): Actually, Rhi, you were there the first time I stopped by Readers Chat
[2012/06/19 16:09]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): and I wondered….why is someone here naked
[2012/06/19 16:09]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): I wasn’t naked–I was nude.
[2012/06/19 16:10]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): ah. Of course
[2012/06/19 16:10]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Well, enough people ask that question that it’s the first thing in my profile.
[2012/06/19 16:10]  ArtCrash Exonar: whats the diff?
[2012/06/19 16:10]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): no, the first thing is mention of my discussion groups, then my being nude
[2012/06/19 16:10]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Art, with a name like ‘art,’ you’re the last person I’d expect to have to explain it to
[2012/06/19 16:11]  ArtCrash Exonar: nope, the first! haha
[2012/06/19 16:11]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): A Greek goddess is nude; a concentration camp victim digging her own grave is naked.
[2012/06/19 16:11]  Kelian Chayoo: naked is ..well naKED. nUDE IS LIKE A COSTUME
[2012/06/19 16:11]  Kelian Chayoo: damn caps lock
[2012/06/19 16:11]  Kelian Chayoo: get me a hammer
[2012/06/19 16:11]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Nude is dignified.
[2012/06/19 16:11]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Nude is dignified;
[2012/06/19 16:11]  ArtCrash Exonar: so is nakey not as cool as nudie?
[2012/06/19 16:11]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): right, Violet
[2012/06/19 16:11]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Naked is revealed.
[2012/06/19 16:11]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): haha
[2012/06/19 16:11]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Jinx!
[2012/06/19 16:11]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Art, well, ‘nakey,’ is an SL slang term that ranges over both ‘nude’ and ‘naked.’
[2012/06/19 16:12]  ArtCrash Exonar: aha, we will parse this one to the max! haha
[2012/06/19 16:12]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): I’m still not going to try nude at rl discussions
[2012/06/19 16:12]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Art, lol
[2012/06/19 16:12]  Extropia DaSilva: Rhia does being nude help or hinder with finding true friends?
[2012/06/19 16:12]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Extie, yes.
[2012/06/19 16:12]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): lol
[2012/06/19 16:12]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Lisa, oh, why not? I have. You just have a lot more “G” sims in real life. lol
[2012/06/19 16:13]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Actually, in finding true friends, it helps.
[2012/06/19 16:13]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): unless you go to naked beaches
[2012/06/19 16:13]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): I think a couple of people had to thaw though, and accept it, before we became friends
[2012/06/19 16:13]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): you mostly find griefers there
[2012/06/19 16:13]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Lisa, not griefers, but the same guys you meet irl.
[2012/06/19 16:13]  Extropia DaSilva: I imagined it would. Because you can tell from people’s reactions how accepting or intolerant they are. Right?
[2012/06/19 16:13]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): “Hey, nice tits, sexy.” 😛
[2012/06/19 16:13]  ArtCrash Exonar: Rhi you are the sl fashion stores worst nightmare! haha
[2012/06/19 16:14]  Extropia DaSilva: Hey, stores sell skins too!
[2012/06/19 16:14]  Kelian Chayoo: I find it intimidating a bit
[2012/06/19 16:14]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Yeah; I haven’t really found a safe hangout for naked people.
[2012/06/19 16:14]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Extie, exactly.
[2012/06/19 16:14]  ArtCrash Exonar: aha
[2012/06/19 16:14]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): that’s the scary thought. What do those guys say to women irl
[2012/06/19 16:14]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Eternal Desires is safe
[2012/06/19 16:14]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): agree
[2012/06/19 16:14]  Kelian Chayoo: because it stands out, even here in sl. And I prefer to blend in
[2012/06/19 16:14]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Lisa, I’ve been a striipper irl; they say the same things
[2012/06/19 16:14]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Except…..home, I guess.
[2012/06/19 16:15]  ArtCrash Exonar: I love the dress your avatar part of SL. Dressing is like a continuously changing moveable art object.
[2012/06/19 16:15]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): That’s true enough, Rhi
[2012/06/19 16:15]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): Gia laughs
[2012/06/19 16:15]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Violet cams in on Kelian
[2012/06/19 16:15]  Extropia DaSilva: Hahaha Rhi’s strip act would be the shortest in the art’s history;)
[2012/06/19 16:15]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): What they think they’re accomplishing. ::shakes her head:: I gues there are some things that you will never know about the opposite gender
[2012/06/19 16:15]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): I’ve been an engineer, and at least it’s a little more subtle. Most of the time
[2012/06/19 16:15]  Kelian Chayoo: LOL stoppit
[2012/06/19 16:15]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Yeah, Lisa. “Hey, baby, what’s entropy going to do to those titsS?”
[2012/06/19 16:15]  ArtCrash Exonar: Kelian is just a cloud to me unfortunately… sigh
[2012/06/19 16:16]  Zobeid Zuma: Yeah, my inventory is bulging with clothes….
[2012/06/19 16:16]  Kelian Chayoo: still!
[2012/06/19 16:16]  Kelian Chayoo: dammit
[2012/06/19 16:16]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Oh, I was hoping Kelian was the cloud.
[2012/06/19 16:16]  Kelian Chayoo: let me relog
[2012/06/19 16:16]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): lol. I actually had a coworker pull it out in front of me
[2012/06/19 16:16]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): No, Kelian, think before you do. You may never come bck…
[2012/06/19 16:16]  ArtCrash Exonar: Kelian, changing body shape will usually fix that.
[2012/06/19 16:16]  Kelian Chayoo: yea, store your emails with me. I have a plastic bag
[2012/06/19 16:16]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Lisa, what you do in that case is crck up.
[2012/06/19 16:16]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): He’ll put it back in. Trust me on this one
[2012/06/19 16:16]  Kelian Chayoo: ok let me look
[2012/06/19 16:17]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): “Oh, gosh, heehee, it’s so tiny; heehe. Oh, golly. Like I thought at first I needed glasess. ho ho.”
[2012/06/19 16:17]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): I was too shocked to think of that one at the time
[2012/06/19 16:17]  ColdWhiteLight Sideways: I think you forgot to feed it?
[2012/06/19 16:18]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Yeah, isn’t that the pits? You think of the perfect response to a situation–and it never rises again.
[2012/06/19 16:18]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): it must be cold out
[2012/06/19 16:18]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): (er, no pun intended)
[2012/06/19 16:18]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): CWL, lol! That’s a good one.
[2012/06/19 16:18]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Gia, that’s a good one, too.
[2012/06/19 16:18]  ArtCrash Exonar: So, do we AGREE with the premise that it is harder to find a friend group the second time around than it was originally?
[2012/06/19 16:18]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): I don’t. AT least, not necessarily
[2012/06/19 16:18]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): I think there are fewer people around sl than 2 or 3 years ago
[2012/06/19 16:18]  Zobeid Zuma: I don’t think I’ve ever been through that exact scenario, ArtCrash.
[2012/06/19 16:19]  Extropia DaSilva: I agree that finding a group of friends is easier than replacing a set of good friends, yes.
[2012/06/19 16:19]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): Art, certainly in my case. when I was new I joined a family and invested myself emotionally, after that and a few other disappointments I guarded myself to the point of being a hermit almost
[2012/06/19 16:19]  ArtCrash Exonar: I got this idea from talking to a lot of avatars about the topic. They all tended to see that as true with their experience. At least the great majority of them did.
[2012/06/19 16:19]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Gia, glad you got over that; being a hermit in a social network? Well, that’s not good.
[2012/06/19 16:19]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Hi Bobsie!
[2012/06/19 16:20]  ColdWhiteLight Sideways: I still stick to my original point that it is hard the 1st time as it is another other time, one can only get lucky so many times :/
[2012/06/19 16:20]  Kelian Chayoo: did I de cloud?
[2012/06/19 16:20]  Zobeid Zuma: Still a cloud to me, Kelian.
[2012/06/19 16:20]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): I don’t see SL the same as facebook or myspace etc. it’s also a place where one can build or be creative otherwise and not have to deal with too many people
[2012/06/19 16:20]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): I was in a builders neighborhood. The first month was good, but then there started to be a big turnover
[2012/06/19 16:21]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): so, there was never a solid group of friends there
[2012/06/19 16:21]  ArtCrash Exonar: So I’m guessing that people suggest that the way to change into finding more friends is to be more open to new friends and proactively forward in friending people? Or being more open minded in general?
[2012/06/19 16:21]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Yeah, that’s true, Lisa. My creativity is in my discussions; but as other discussions attendance has gone down, mine has remained about the same. It did go down by 17% when I made peace with Thothica. Drama sells.
[2012/06/19 16:21]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Being more open minded in general
[2012/06/19 16:21]  Extropia DaSilva: In terms of technological evolution, FB is a cousin of SL.
[2012/06/19 16:21]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): I am looking for the times, but PBS is going to air a program talking about the virtual world and there is a segment on second life
[2012/06/19 16:21]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): And SL is becoming more like FB
[2012/06/19 16:22]  Extropia DaSilva: oh? In what way?
[2012/06/19 16:22]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): FB is all rl, SL is anonymous
[2012/06/19 16:22]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): well, I guess you can have fake FB profiles
[2012/06/19 16:22]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Well, have you seen your account page lately? It resembles your home page in FB; where people can post on it, and so forth.
[2012/06/19 16:22]  Extropia DaSilva: Not necessarily true in either case. In fact BOTH are a mix of real life and invented identity.
[2012/06/19 16:22]  ArtCrash Exonar: The anonymity think might be part of what leads to isolation, what do you think about that?
[2012/06/19 16:23]  ArtCrash Exonar: thing
[2012/06/19 16:23]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): s Art
[2012/06/19 16:23]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): *yes
[2012/06/19 16:23]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Extie, yes; in fact there’s an article about Facebook that presages Pamala Clift’s distinctions–“The Fakebook Generation.” Argued basically that there were dissociatives (young) and immersives (older) on Facebook. And with people using Facebook to promote their business–well, there are your augmentists
[2012/06/19 16:24]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): I do think so, Art….taking a chance on someone can be risky.
[2012/06/19 16:24]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): But worth it.
[2012/06/19 16:24]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): I dislike the anonymity. How are you supposed to get to Know people/be freinds? says the woman with her rl name as her av
[2012/06/19 16:24]  Zobeid Zuma: Dissociative? Immersive?
[2012/06/19 16:24]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): bookmark and read this when you get the chance, after this discussion perhaps http://gwynethllewelyn.net/2008/03/09/immersionism-and-augmentationism-revisited/
[2012/06/19 16:24]  Zobeid Zuma: Zobeid Zuma googles for Fakebook….
[2012/06/19 16:24]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): I like the anonymity. But my experience with the internet is mostly in spaces that are even more anonymous.
[2012/06/19 16:24]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Well, young people saw FB as a way to play social games, assume roles, fake people out; older people were networking and developing a virtual list of friends
[2012/06/19 16:25]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Or did you mean the distinctions themselves, Zoe?
[2012/06/19 16:25]  Extropia DaSilva: Well, Guru, you treat Sl as the place where the friendship is forged. Like, I have spent plenty of time getting to know Rhi and I know I like her. It does not matter that I do not know her RL identity. I know her SL presence is someone I like and that is good enough for me.
[2012/06/19 16:25]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): even in facebook I loathed the idea of employers trying to find my page to get dirt on me, there was nothing dirty on my page but I felt strongly it was none of their business, so I used a fake last name
[2012/06/19 16:25]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Which is interesting–because most people in those spaces are pretty open about who they are…anonymity just allows people to decide to what degree they want to share
[2012/06/19 16:26]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Yes, I feel the same way about you, Extie
[2012/06/19 16:26]  ArtCrash Exonar: On another topic. I think that I have discovered the reason that the majority of people can’t get excited about virtual worlds and that is that they don’t understand the concept of the avatar, or they see the avatar as being inauthentic, or merely cartoonish. They are incapable of ‘inhabiting’ an avatar for whatever reasons……
[2012/06/19 16:26]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): My SL partner, Chrae, doesn’t want to know people’s RL identities–she has shaped a view of them here and responses and then knowing their RL identities would wreck that
[2012/06/19 16:26]  Zobeid Zuma: That article is quite old.
[2012/06/19 16:26]  Bobsie: Bobsie nods in agreement with ArtCrash
[2012/06/19 16:27]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): I’m with Chrae
[2012/06/19 16:27]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): I think there’s something to that, Art….
[2012/06/19 16:27]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): I’m not too concerned about my avatar itself, except to play around with goofy hat & such
[2012/06/19 16:27]  Kelian Chayoo: I agree
[2012/06/19 16:27]  Extropia DaSilva: I have done research into this, so I know that people present a manufactured, generally idealised self on FB, while at the same time honestly believing they are showing an accurate portrayl of their ‘true’ self.
[2012/06/19 16:27]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Zo, yes, it is; I first read it in a textbook I was supposed to use for my students. And what was interesting to me was that it so mirrored what Pam was saying about SL
[2012/06/19 16:27]  Kelian Chayoo: I do use SL for entertainment
[2012/06/19 16:27]  Extropia DaSilva: three minutes left, folks…
[2012/06/19 16:27]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): I don’t have any rules about anonymity or how much people share of their RL, really….it’s all on a case by case basis.
[2012/06/19 16:27]  Kelian Chayoo: so I prefer a bit of fiction
[2012/06/19 16:28]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): OMG! 3 minutes left! ::searches around for something profound to say in 3 minutes::
[2012/06/19 16:28]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Some people I’d really like to know more; most I don’t really mind either way.
[2012/06/19 16:28]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): for some people SL is just entertainment, for others it is something more and both are valid as long as one isn’t trying to force itself on the other
[2012/06/19 16:28]  Zobeid Zuma: Some people have started posting info that you need a FB account to see. 😦
[2012/06/19 16:28]  GuruTapas.comFREEsites4Authors (lisaschaefer.ruby): well, in sl, just as irl, you have incomplete info on all your friends. But I think important info is even more Incomplet in sl
[2012/06/19 16:28]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): But having my illusions shattered isn’t profoundly traumatic….it’s interesting to me, to see new facets of a person
[2012/06/19 16:28]  Extropia DaSilva: you mean, in SL, Zo?
[2012/06/19 16:28]  ArtCrash Exonar: I’m sure that most of us here ‘inhabit’ our avatars to a degree that just assumes we are them and they are us.
[2012/06/19 16:29]  Zobeid Zuma: No… It’s just something I’ve bumped into a couple of times.
[2012/06/19 16:29]  Extropia DaSilva: Guess I am not most people.
[2012/06/19 16:29]  ArtCrash Exonar: Except for those who live only here… heh
[2012/06/19 16:29]  Violet (ataraxia.azemus): Oh, yeah; that creeps me out, Zo
[2012/06/19 16:29]  Bobsie: I have met some people who are really not interested in their avatars…
[2012/06/19 16:30]  Rhiannon of the Birds (rhiannon.dragoone): Art, it depends; some people *are* their avatars; and some people just use them as tools.
[2012/06/19 16:30]  Kelian Chayoo: I think they are called “cockwalkers”
[2012/06/19 16:30]  Gia (giannaisabel.werefox): lol the ones not interested in their avatars and still want to walk up and say in all caps “HI BABY MMMM”
[2012/06/19 16:30]  Extropia DaSilva: OK our time is up!
This entry was posted in after thinkers. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to THINKERS JUNE 19 2012: NEW FRIENDS AND OLD FRIENDS IN SL

  1. Budding says:

    Oh Extie.. I mean Extropia… dont forget to have a thinkers chat on the obvious merits of abolishing medical science, ha. Who needs it? Only sad humans thats who! Enlist support from your ARMISH cousins!

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